San Diego Serenade

We saw Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band one week ago at the Greek Theatre in LA. It was unquestionably a hell of a show. My girlfriend sent this synopsis to a friend of ours:

"wow bruce springsteen is amazing. AMAZING! i was completely blown away :) there were 17 people on the stage: a trumpet player, two trombones, a tuba, a drummer, three backup singers brandishing various percussion toys (tamborines, triangles, cool shaky rhythm things, etc), a piano man, an upright bass player who frequently lifted the bass in the air as he was playing, two violinists (or violas, i can never tell), 4 guitars/singers including bruce and his wife, oh, and an accordian! also twice one of the guitarists switched out, once to play a huge upright drummer-boy style drum and the second time to play a washboard with spoons! they rocked out to all these awesome old folk/protest songs, a few hits, and a few written-just-for-the-show-to-spite-our-favorite-president passionate ballads. and to top it all it was in this awesome ampetheater in a park in LA with a backdrop of mountains and evergreens. totally worth the drive up through traffic and almost passing out at the wheel coming back at 1am!"

I'd also like to point out that Bruce's re-working of a song by Blind Alfred Reed called How Can A Poor Man Stand Such Times And Live into a Post-Katrina lament brought the above reviewer to tears. But despite the glowing reviews and large amounts of press that the album and performances have recieved (Pete at ickmusic.com has a great collection of material here), some people are still being taken by surprise after they've paid $100 for a ticket and Bruce Springsteen does not play "Dancin' In The Dark." From the Washington Post review of the show back home:

Baffled by the sight and sound of an upright bass and a tuba onstage, as well as a certain 56-year-old rock-and-roll star who wasn't obviously acting the part they envisioned, many of those ticket holders spent a good chunk of the night crying out for "Thunder Road" and "Born in the U.S.A." while bemoaning the fact that the Jersey guy Springsteen suddenly sounded as though he were from (gasp!) Kentucky by way of New Orleans.

They continued to sing even after Springsteen gave the two lingering musicians the hook. The crowd stopped only when a sweaty, beaming Springsteen returned for an encore, prompting him to commend the crowd. "Well done," he said. To which a guy in section 101, row N shouted: "Now play the good stuff, Bruce!"

The idiocy of this is palpable and frustrating. Fortunately, Bruce Springsteen has not renounced his old material, or retired it a la Jerry Seinfeld. He is, however, trying something new, something that many people are grateful for and enjoy tremendously. Forcing Bruce to play the same hits of the 80s over and over again into his increasingly middle aged years would not only be embarassing, but it would also be unfair. These people undoubtedly hear "Dancin' in the Dark" on classic rock radio on a daily basis, so you can't blame them for realizing that things have changed, that The Boss is relevant and kicking ass again. But you can still mock them, and you can still use it to transition into the most pressing local matter we have here in San Diego...

This problem of people grasping at a past that no longer exists applies to us, much more hilariously, here in San Diego. I speak of course of the colony of seals that now inhabit the area of La Jolla known as the "Children's Pool." There are at least five dozen seals that have taken up residence about two miles from my house for many months out of the year, and lie on the beach all day long, occasionally flopping around or giving birth to baby seals. We checked them out again last weekend because my parents were staying in a nearby hotel. They made me realize that my rating of hilarity on the Muzzle of Bees "Get To Know Your Blogger" segment was WAY out of wack. It should have read

#4: people dressed as animals.
#3 Animals dressed as people.
#2 Animals dressed as other animals.
and
#1. Seals.

Seriously. Just look at them. Put a little party hat on one of them and let the laughs ensue. Late at night, fat people must sob loudly into their tubs of ice cream at the unfairness that is peoples perceptions of fat people as disgusting and loathsome, yet fat animals as cute, cuddly, hilarious and huggable. Hundreds of people turn out to see the seals every day for just these reasons.

Adding even MORE to the hilarity of this situation is that in a DC Springsteen Fan-like manner, Old Coots such as San Diego's Roy P. Poston still believe that the Children's Pool should be used as a place where they should bring their children to for beach time! He writes to the UT:

"I thank God that I had an opportunity to introduce both my children and my grandchildren to the wonders of the sea, diving and the conservation and preservation of all forms of marine life. I am disheartened and saddened at the possibility of not being able to introduce my great-grandchildren to this enjoyment of the ocean by starting them in a controlled, sanitary and healthy swim area like the Children's Pool....I implore anyone with political influence and the public in general to step forward and voice their desires to restore this area to the children and have the natural, clean, healthy interaction with the marine life that we have enjoyed for many years."

I can just imagine Mr. Poston's Great-Grandchildren's dismayed reactions at the reading of his will where he posthumously reveals to them through his executor that all those pictures of them building sand castles and doing handstands in the surf were on a beach that had recently undergone a rudimentary cleaning to remove the massive amounts of seal feces that had accumulated for the good part of a decade.

Roland M. Gray also adds this trenchant point:

"Apparently it is beyond the comprehension of the various animal rights groups that the Children's Pool in La Jolla was expressly deeded to the city as a playground for children, thus the name. It was never intended to be a seal rookery."

Oh my god! He's right! Now that I think about it, 8 years ago, I never intended to pay $3.50 for a gallon of gasoline! It's as if outside forces have some how impacted the impenetrable realm of my will and allowed changes to occur in the real world!

Back in high school, my friends and I used to joke about a made up place called "Shit Beach." It was pretty much a nice resort, but instead of sand on the beaches, there was just tons of shit for some reason. We would pretend like there was a family that always took their summer vacation at Shit Beach. The kids would protest, but the dad would act like the dad in Calvin and Hobbes, and would force Shit Beach upon them saying that it builds character. Details were added in over the years, like the fact that to get to Shit Beach you had to drive past several much nicer, non-shit beaches, and that Shit Beach was inexplicably a more expensive place to take a vacation than these other nice beaches. None of it mattered: This family had always taken their vacations at Shit Beach and the father would be damned if they were going to stop now.

I think it struck me when I say this sign:

This is Shit Beach! These wealthy La Jolla moms and old La Jolla coots want their kids and grandchildren to be able to play on Shit Beach! For the love of god people, why?! Let's look at the reasoning here:

A) Pro seals:
-People like the seals.
-They are hilarious
-You can't see the seals anywhere else
-You can get seriously ill if you play on this part of the beach
-But there fortunately are elevated platforms that you can observe the seals closely from without setting foot on the beach
-There are miles of nice beaches to the immediate south of the seals. Literally about 100 feet away.

On the other hand:

B) Con Seals
-80 years ago a dead lady said this place should be called the Children's Pool

Now listen. You can play Dancin' In The Dark all you want. You can have a few too many drinks and do the dance from the video. You can leap out of your seat when Bruce plays it at his next concert. But sometimes Bruce just isn't going to play the songs from his album that came out 22 years ago. If you're a fan, maybe you should check out the new album, people seem to really enjoy it. Don't like that style of music? OK, I'm sure he'll tour again with the E Street Band, and then he might play Dancin' In The Dark. Until then, while you don't get exactly what you want, the rest of us will enjoy the nice little surprise Bruce prepared for us this year.

The same goes for the seals. That area may have been the Children's pool. But nobody in their right mind would let their children go down there to play now. Should you yell out loudly for the hits of 20 years ago, or maybe see if, like everyone else, your kids enjoy the unique experience of the seals just as much as they would have enjoyed digging in the sand?

Ponder it while you listen to some of these greatest (s)hits:

Re-Ree - Mr. Brown
The Bloody Hollies - Tired of this Shit
The Circle Jerks - When The Shit Hits The Fan
Wu-Tang Clan - Dog Shit
Tom Waits - Looks Like I'm Up Shit Creek Again
Bruce Springsteen - Dancin' In The Dark